An unusual turn round a dark corner takes you unexpectedly to a junction….

Unfortunatly no one can be told what the Cassanova Crowley is… You have to see it for yourself! Remember, I am only offering you the truth … Good, now take the red pill and chill, this won’t hurt a bit…Image

Take a deep breath… good, now relax… This is a journey like no other….

Your mind is not your own.. Why am I even looking for Droids? Who is number one?  I am not an animal! If you’re here then who’s holding the rope?

  • There is nothing wrong with your television. Do not attempt to adjust the picture.

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This is not a test… You are under the Influence of Mr Cassanova Crowley…If you are a girl you may already be pregnant… if you are already pregnant then you may be a girl…

Nothing is what it seems and nowhere is safe from the mental powers of Mr Crowley (particularly if you are a girl)…

You think you’ve seen it all then!

BLAMO!

BLAMO!

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You’re helpless…and you’ve never been happier… Do you know where your girlfriend is right now? or your mother? The man that you can see on the Periphery, he’s your best friend, he’s the Duke, he’s A-number-one, he’s the Dude or El Dudeness, or Betty when you call him you can call him Al…

On odd days he plays the ukulele, tells stories with The Dark Design, and gets the girl…On even days he saves the world, kills the bald guy, and gets the girl…On the days in between, he tells stories to the world, kills the Ukulele, and gets the girl… (you’ll note… he always gets the girl…)

Ladies and Gentlemen, you have just had sex with Mr Cassanova Crowley and life from here on in will never feel quite the same…

He is adventure and if he had a middle name, it would be so dangerous that the very mention of it could destroy the universe in a technocolour explosion of gin,movie stars,fast cars, and obscene French lingerie… Image

So there you have it… Mr Cassanova Crowley has just blown your mind!!! And be thankful that’s all he blew…

And since you asked… yes!

Photo credit for Mr Cassanova Crowley by Anthony Edwards

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A man with an eye for an eye

As we continue our run through the ship’s roster, please allow me to introduce a most essential member of our crew…

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Tim – Tin Eyed Tink – Tinkerton – Accordionista , banjo dueller and Keyboarder for The Dark Design.

Tink lost an eye in a knife fight with a ship’s monkey and was given the gift of farseeing by way of consolation by her Greek captain who was on some kind of Odyssey. Apparently he got the strange eye from some weavers.. Unfortunately Tink is unable to control how far ahead his vision lets him see and it’s speeding up at an exponential rate.

Will he one day be able to see the end of time? I for one am counting on it…

Photo Credit Anthony Edwards

 

At The Bass Of Things

As we continue our introductions it is time for you to meet the engine room of The Dark Design…

May I introduce Mr Herashibold Endeavour

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This expert in military subsonics who studied wave manipulation at Twaites Military Academy  is trapped in a state of flux between two dimensions thus never being entirely corporeal in either… In your universe I discovered him busking in Paris, whilst in his own he is a leading exponent of weapon based low frequency harmonics… In short a sonic sword smith like no other and he plays a mean bass and let’s not forget those amazing vocals.

One of the earliest recruits to The Dark Design, Herashibold is fundamental to the very cause and therefore arguably one of the most important and influential members of the team.

Photo Credit Anthony Edwards

The Dark Design Would Like to apologise for unleashing this minor manifestation of the Great Cthulhu upon a small cul de sac in Surrey

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Naturally Gordon Vader was to blame. Apparently he was drinking gin with a minor deity of Neptune and lost a bet of some kind… It took us bloody ages to get the thing back to its own dimension and fortunately no one was hurt in the process, although our ship is now about a foot shorter and for no good reason…